But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.”- An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… An office is a place where dreams come true.” — Michael Scott, “I run a small fake-ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the Sheriff’s station.” — Creed Bratton, “I got six numbers, one more and it would have been a complete phone number.” — Kevin Malone, “Would I rather be feared or loved? Although the seat was warm, so we may have just missed him.” — Meredith, “Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. You know what? Nick just telling it like it is. But I didn’t bring the lice in. Mar 22, 2015 - In honor of the 10th anniversary of The Office, here are Michael Scott's best quotes. Privacy Policy. These are the quotes that left everyone laughing. Because that’s what you’d have to be to own it. What am I working toward?” — Creed Bratton, “I say dance, they say ‘How high? I’d rather she be alone than with somebody. To give you a reference point. 15 Perfect Michael Scott Quotes. “Jim is my enemy. “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you’ve actually left them.” – Andy Bernard, 52. There’s something for everyone to enjoy, whether you’re a fan of Jim, Dwight, or Kelly. Turn on the TV and take a trip to Dunder Mifflin Paper Company to watch the goofy and heartwarming tales unfold. I was five! Her ears are like a 7 and a 4. Her father was in ‘Meet the Parents.’ Needless to say, she was very, very expensive.” — Angela Martin, “I don’t talk trash, I talk smack. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 46. The series is full of great one-liners, silly sayings, and monologues of pure comedic genius. I just drew a picture of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. And I say the same thing to my current wife, and I’ll say it to my next one, too.” — Stanley Hudson, “I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?” — Oscar Martinez, “An office is for not dying. It will say “Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm”… That’ll show ’em.” — Ryan Howard, “I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working.” — Michael Scott, “I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 28. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. “I am running away from my responsibilities. Senior Quotes. Quotes by Genres. Toby: Didn’t you lose a lot of money on that other investment, the one from that e-mail? “Well, well, well, how the turntables.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell). Which puts me at a disadvantage because I bring my own water to work.” — Dwight Schrute. "Plan A was marrying her a long time ago. Because they are un-understandable.” — Michael Scott, “There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. The best 'Office' love quotes from Jim & Pam's relationship. It’s nuts.” – Erin Hannon (Ellie Kemper), 44. Toby: We should really have the office’s air quality tested. by Hattie Soykan. Fool me twice, strike three.” — Michael Scott, “Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are too flashy, so I’m forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.” — Angela Martin, “Today, smoking is going to save lives.” — Dwight Schrute, “I don’t want to be married in a tent like a hobo.” — Angela Martin, “It is not a good time for me to lose my job since I have some pretty big long-term plans in my personal life with Pam that I’d like her parents to be psyched about. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. I don’t need to see Oscar’s toes at work. 16. I have Country Crock.” — Michael Scott, “Newsflash: You are not special.” — Stanley Hudson, “When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. “I would not miss it for the world. Here are 60 short and funny motivational quotes to help brighten your day: 60 Short & Funny Motivational Quotes. Saved from refinery29.com. That was all Pam.” — Meredith, “You’re the people’s princess! “Holly is ruining Michael’s life. “I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. This show will make you laugh, cry, and fall in love with the entire cast. . The last person to do this disappeared. Diabolically Hilarious and Funny Senior Quotes. Visit our Privacy Policy for more info. You look like a trout.” — Phyllis Lapin-Vance, “I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. “I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. And apparently, they’ve already hired a new manager. And it feels good.” — Michael Scott, “I once reported Oscar to the INS. Steve Carell, also known as “Michael Scott,” is the glue of the show and manages the office. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Once you’ve conquered obesity, everything else is easy. There’s too many people on this earth. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. “I’m not offended by homosexuality. RELATED: 'The Office' Romance: Jim & Pam's Best Love Quotes. BuzzFeed Staff. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.” — Kelly Kapoor, “I find the mystery genre disgusting. When it comes to school yearbooks and writing that little senior quote next to your photo, it can be tough. Turns out he’s clean, but I’m glad I did it.” — Angela Martin, “Besides having sex with men, I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me.” — Oscar Martinez, “If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.” — Dwight Schrute, “We have a gym at home. I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong, and if you don’t like it, you can leave. “I think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular girl.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling), 45. And they have no arms or legs … Where are they? 6. What are they? I enjoy being liked. It’s called the bedroom.” — Phyllis Lapin-Vance, “If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I’d ever been here. Or Pam finally writes that series of young adult books.” —, “If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.” — Stanley Hudson, “Guess what, I have flaws. Oh I don’t know. "Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave." ... Life Quotes. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.” — Michael Scott, “I miss the days when there was only one party I didn’t want to go to.” — Ryan Howard, “Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. Probably my jugs.” — Phyllis Lapin-Vance, “Oh, you’re paying way too much for worms. “Nothing stresses me out. “The eyes are the groin of the face.” — Dwight Schrute. We use cookies to collect information from your browser to personalize content and perform site analytics. “There is no such thing as an appropriate joke, that’s why it’s a joke.” – Ryan Howard (B.J. “I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 13. Trash talk is hypothetical, like: Your mom is so fat she can eat the internet. So gives yourselves a round of applause.” — Kelly Kapoor, “Fool me once, strike one. And I’d forget, too.” — Ryan Howard, “I don’t hate it. “I knew exactly what to do. You could ask me,’ Kelly, what’s the biggest company in the world?’ And I’d be like, ‘blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.’ Giving you the exact right answer.” — Kelly Kapoor, “I am a black belt in gift wrapping.” — Jim Halpert, The people here are amazing debaters. So, I decided to take a survey and ask all "The Office"-lovers in my life what their favorite quotes are. The 33 Absolute Best Senior Quotes From The Class Of 2017. “Would I rather be feared or loved? 1. “I am Beyonce, always.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 16. Very messy, inappropriate…no. “Maybe we weren’t right together, but it’s weird. Interviews and Podcasts on Everyday Power, 18 Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I Was 18. What Your Yearbook Quote Says About You: 55 Brilliant and Funny Yearbook Quotes To Inspire You June 23, 2015 / 19 Comments Teachers love … I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” — Michael Scott, “The man is wearing sandals. It tastes like sheep feces.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), 38. Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), 33. 2. “I have a lot of questions. here are 50 jokes so bad that you can’t help but giggle. The hit TV show The Office is a fan favorite known for its memorable characters, wild antics, and hilarious quotes. … You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.” — Creed Bratton, “Yes, I have a dream, and it’s not some MLK dream for equality. Startup Life 17 Really Funny Quotes from the Popular TV Show, The Office Whether you need a pick me up for the start of your workweek, or just need a good laugh, these quotes will help. “I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.” – Pam Beesly (Jenna Fischer), 24. Best Gifts For People Who Can’t Get Enough Of ‘The Office’, These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of, Treat Yo’ Self To 100+ ‘Parks And Recreation’ Quotes And Classic Leslie Knope Lines, “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. And a panther.” — Dwight Schrute, “There are always a million reasons not to do something” — Jan Levinson, “It’s a real shame because studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos. Quotes. I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. We have radon coming from below. “This is ‘parkour’, the internet sensation of 2004. If I were shot in the head, I’m pretty sure everything would be fine. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.” — Oscar Martinez, “Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick.” — Kevin Malone, “I’m glad Michael’s getting help. At a dinner party.” — Pam Beesley, “Life is short. You can check out other hilarity in our Arrested Development lines collection or general compilation of funny sarcastic quotes, as well as lines of a more serious note in our selection of the best quotes from This Is Us. Your senior quote CAN’T be ‘fries before guys’. “Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man’s.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), 47. What are they? These funny senior quotes will take you back to your time at school. “I don’t come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You don’t even know. “Who says exactly what they’re thinking? Who’s your favorite character from The Office?. “Yes, I have a dream, and it’s not some MLK dream for equality. 1. You can’t just whore it out.” — Angela Martin, “I have decided that I’m going to be more honest. I have swollen ankles. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.” — Kelly Kapoor, “I love inside jokes. Jan 26, 2017 - Explore Robin Woodard's board "Funny office quotes", followed by 204 people on Pinterest. See for yourself by reading 15 of the best according to Paste Magazine. Gross! She’s hypoallergenic. “’R’ is among the most menacing of sounds. “Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. So sue me.” — Michael Scott, “Well, this is what happened. —Jim. ... and you always have the suck up to the boss,” said American University senior Ace Scotland. Life literally moves in slow motion. “I’m not usually the butt of the joke. Absolutely not. The Office is loaded with comedy gold, funny quotes, and relatable moments. July 2020. “Why are all these people here? badassbubbaj. You have to respect it. That’s why they call it ‘murder’ and not ‘mukduk’” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), 40. That’s one of my mottos.” – Stanley Hudson (Leslie David Baker), 4. Dummies, Morons, and Idiots. And we’re meeting him today. 7. Just putting it out there. “The Taliban is the worst. It is impossible for me to rank quotes from this show, but here are 20 of my favorite. Quotes by Emotions. But, I live by another rule: Just do it… Nike.” — Michael Scott. We need a new plague.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), 26. Best senior year quotes for graduation and the yearbook. 1. The Office Tv Series Netflix Quotes. I just want to eat. That is the life.” – Stanley Hudson (Leslie David Baker), 14. Here are the students who pulled off epically funny senior quotes 1. “Abraham Lincoln once said that, ‘If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North.’ And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 32. “Most people don’t even know that a candy cane represents a shepherd’s crook. Sure I gave everybody pink eye once, and my ex keyed a few of their cars, and yeah I BMed in the shredder on New Years. Joe just letting everyone know he didn’t have a farm. What are your favorite quotes from The Office that make you laugh every time? 8. Read on for the funny quotes you need to get you through quarantine! “I mean, I’m not a slut but who knows.” – Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling), 42. Great heroin though.” – Creed Bratton, 9. Every once in a while a true genius comes along and blows everyone away. 41. These quotes from The Office prove that the series is one of the best shows to ever grace television. “My future isn’t going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls. "You are everything." Let these funny, awkward, and often sarcastic Dwight Schrute quotes lift you from your slump. Only one to go.” — Creed Bratton, “You know a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated.” — Creed Bratton, “We didn’t play many video games in Scranton. On occasion, we also use cookies to collect information from our toddlers, but that’s a totally different thing. So sue me.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 6. I’m gonna start telling people what I want, directly. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 10. Add it all up and what do you get? To get to go sit it in an air-conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for … that is the life.” — Stanley Hudson, “The only problem is whenever I try to make a taco, I get too excited and crush it.” — Kevin Malone, “How is it possible that in five years, I’ve had two engagements and only one chair?” — Pam Beesley, “Yeah, I’m not a temp anymore. “Guess what, I have flaws. I just hope I find it along the way.” — Michael Scott, “I never thought I’d say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow.” — Dwight Schrute, “Everything I have I owe to this job…this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.” — Jim Halpert, “And I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.” — Pam Beesley, “I normally don’t enjoy making people laugh.” — Angela Martin, “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out.” —, “The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is D.M.I. Below are some of … It’s going to be determined by two big black balls.” – Darryl Philbin (Craig Robinson), 34. “I don’t want any special treatment, Pam. Meredith. “When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. Here is a list of the top 20 quotes people ranked as their favorite. Diana was nothing!” — Meredith, “Tell ya one thing, I’m not gonna be a good mom tonight.” — Meredith, “Hey everybody, he’s not in the men’s room. There’s something for everyone to enjoy, whether you’re a fan of Jim, Dwight, or Kelly. Throughout its 9 season run, 'The Office' had countless memorable and funny quotes. Paperwork-wise.” — Oscar Martinez, “Close your mouth, sweetie. Senior Quotes. It’s pretty impressive. And nobody knows I live there. Absolutely not. I just want you to treat me like you would some family member who’s undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. The Office Quote: shenae @sshenizzle. Senior Wills usually showcase each student’s character and give insight into what they felt was essential during their school life. Below are 18 of the funniest yet inspirational quotes from The Office: 1. Around this office in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people. But the doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die.” — Stanley Hudson, “I wanna do a cartwheel. And there’s a button that I can press, and launch that lighthouse into space.” — Stanley Hudson, “I’m guessing Angela is the one in the neighborhood that gives the trick-or-treaters toothbrushes. “Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world: all show, no meat.” – Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), 48. They’re always complaining. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” 3- Pam Beesly:“I don’t care what they say about me.I just want to eat.” 4- “If You Pray Enough, You Can Turn Yourself Into A Cat Person.” 1. 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